Politix of Garbage — SHIT FOOD

(Hippie food advice column from the Milwaukee-based alternative newspaper the Kaleidoscope, published June 17, 1971. No author listed.)

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From the Kaleidoscope, June 17, 1971
From the Kaleidoscope, June 17, 1971

When summer comes it seems the time is right for eating lots of SHITFOOD. Maybe by the time this goes to press there will be enough weed in town to give ya the mad hungries for those old faves like PIZZA.

Well, pizza’s good when you make it yourself and doesn’t take any longer than it would if you had it delivered. The thing to do is get alotof stoned freaks to help cut up things like pepperone, cheese, sausage, anchovies, mushrooms, olives, shrimp, and onions.

While things are being grated and chopped (and maybe shopped for), someone can be making the crust. Even tho it uses yeast, it doesn’t take long. If you want to make a lot and freeze it (or make extra dough into biscuits or bread), you can.

Mix together and let stand five minutes: 1 cup warm water, 1 tbs. or package yeast, 1 tbs. oil or butter, and 1 tsp. salt. If you’re into brewer’s yeast, add a little of that and/or a tablespoon or so of honey for a tenderer crust. Add two cups whole-wheat or rye (or both) flour and beat until you get tired. Add more flour until the dough can be kneaded—then do it until smooth.

Roll out the dough as thin as you like it (remember it rises) and put it on greased cookie sheets, cake or pie pans, .frying pans whatever ya got. .It will make from 2 to 5 pizzas, depending an how thin you roll it and. how big the pans are.

It’s good but not necessary to brush the dough with oil (olive is best) before adding the sauce. For sauce you can use any canned or homemade tomato sauce, or just canned or fresh tomatoes cut up or pulverized real good. Or even just tomato juice with a little tomato paste, oregano, salt, pepper, basil, garlic and dope added.

Take it from there. Do whatever you want to do. If you use hamburger you might want to brown it a little in a frying pan first, though it isn’t really necessary. Same with onions, green pepper and mushrooms.

The trick to good pizza is to bake it with everything but the cheese til the crust is done (450 degrees for 15-20 minutes), then add cheese—Cheddar, jack, mozzarella, parmesan, romano, whatever you like and can afford – and return to the oven til the cheese melts.

You can freeze these pizzas. Cook as usual but don’t add cheese. Wrap in cellophane, plastic, etc. and bake at 350 for 10 minutes, Chen add cheese and return to oven.

Of course then there are those people who get these mad cravings (it’s actual physical addiction—the word COCOA is from the same root as COCAINE) for chocolate. Carob powder is better (it’s not a drug) but it’s hard-to get. Sometimes they have it at the Outpost Natural Foods Co-op, Clarke and Fratney. If you use carob, use about half as much as you would chocolate. But—you might as well eat chocolate sometimes—I ain’t no puritan.


Add 1/8 to 1/4 cup of dope to any brownie recipe that makes enough for an 8″ square pan. There’s one thing I’ve got to tell you about shitfood and that’s that a lot of it is literallly POISON. Like the artificial flavors in ice cream, jello, yogurt, etc. are in PAINT REMOVER, RUBBER CEMENT, LICE KILLER, and other goodies. So make yr own shitfood..Use freeze orange or other juice in ice cube trays and pretend they’re popsicles.

Do you know what’s in Coca-Cola? I don’t, but I know it’s bottled death. Put a bone or a tooth in a~ glass of coke overnite and see what happens.

If you get thirsty try some (fresh or that Realemon stuff that comes n bottles; it has chemicals in it but what can you do? So do the lemons at the A & P.) 1 part honey, and 8 parts water. Adjust the proportions to taste, A pinch of salt is good to throw in for good luck–and if you’re sweating a lot you need it.

P.S. Watermelon is a good substitute for junk food—it’s got lots of sugar for sugar addicts, fills you up (with water, so it isn’t like stuffing yourself with starch or carbohydrates), and can often be ripped off from supermarkets that leave them outside.

It’s far out when you’re stoned and the seeds make nice necklaces, too.


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