World Wrestling Federation Card, May 30, 1991

I was really into professional wrestling when I was a kid. I don’t exactly know what interested me , but here’s what I now suspect was going on.

1. Not many of my peers were interested, so this made it very attractive. I’m the biggest contrarian I’ve ever met.

2. I appreciated the pageantry, the costumes, the makeup, the spectacle. Regular old sports just seemed lame in comparison.

3. It was soap opera-y, but all about toughness. I definitely aspired to be tough, but was pretty much a big emo crybaby.

Anyway, I only was able to see two live shows as a kid — the NWA at the David S. Palmer Civic Center in Danville, IL, and the WWF at the Assembly Hall in Champaign, IL. NWA did not distribute a printed card, but the WWF did:

wwfcard

Summary: “dis” means there was a disqualification, and that I felt insanely ripped off. Mr. Perfect couldn’t be bothered to show up, so we got the stupid Bezerker instead. Big Boss Man won with the “stun gun” move…and Koko B. Ware was really lousy at hiding the fact that wrasstlin’ ain’t really real.

I also enjoy the flipside of the card:

wwfcard1

I really hated Hulk Hogan, so I remember thinking to myself back then, “WHOTHEHELL IS GOING TO CALL THIS?!”

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